Friday, March 30, 2007

Friday CJ Random 11

It's one more random than 10!

Random thought before the random 11...Last week, I overheard someone talking about Paula Abdul and mentioning MC Skat Cat, the rapping cat from the "Opposites Attract" video (which is now used to torture terror suspects into confessing). Then I find out Karl Rove is rapping as MC Rove.

Tell me those two things don't belong together like peanut butter and jelly on a turd sandwich. I wish I had the video skills to make it happen....on to the list.

1) “Girls,” Beastie Boys. When this was released, who could have predicted their career path with these Casio beats and Adam Sandler-esque rhymes? In 1986, even Nostradamus would have said, “Critical darlings? Tibet activists? They have a 20-foot inflatable penis on stage. I need to take my crystal ball into the shop.”

2) “The Ballad of a Ladyman,” Sleater-Kinney. I’m very much a “women are complete equals” guy. In fact, my life is based around the dream of The Lovely Becky becoming rich enough for me to become a pampered, bon-bon eating desperate husband. But for a long time, I had this subconscious prejudice that girls couldn’t rock the same way guys could. Then Sleater-Kinney kicked out the jams right into my dangling patriarchies.

3) “Fallout,” The Police. There was a weird noise in the background when I played this today. I wound up recording it and having it analyzed. Turns out it was backward tracking that said, Buy our tickets! Buy them now! They will help you have sex for 18 hours like Sting! Hail Satan! Even without the subliminable messaging, it’s hard to resist mortgaging my house for a pair of tickets when something as good as this shows up. This first single has all the trademarks of great early Police songs: punk energy, Copeland's propulsive drumming, and a yelping vocal from Sting, plus a nice little solo from their brief original guitarist, That Guy’s Not Andy Summers.

4) “Battery,” Metallica. Just the other day, I was talking about a buddy of mine from college, Moe. He was the first black heavy metal fan I’d ever met, and I was explaining how he and I became friends after I did my impression of Metallica as a lounge act. “That doesn’t seem so far-fetched now,” TLB chimed in. As James Hetfield later sang, you know that it's sad but true.

5) “Teen Age Riot,” Sonic Youth. I didn’t get into Sonic Youth when I was a sonic youth. I should have, because they are one of those groups that I know are good but are hard for me to “discover” as an adult.

6) “Better Than Most,” A.C. Newman. Better than most solo albums, but not as good as The New Pornographers. His music needs a little Viagra when Neko Case is not around.

7) “Man in a Shed,” Nick Drake. A sad, chillingly prophetic song about Ted Kaczynski.

8) “The Crying of Lot G,” Yo La Tengo. Two of their songs from this album are allusions to other works. This one is a reference to Pynchon’s The Crying of Lot 49. Another song, “Let’s Save Tony Orlando’s House,” references a Simpsons episode. Bet you can guess which allusion I like better.

9) “I Need Your Love,” The Rapture. Pitchfork selected this dance punk mishmash as their album of the year a couple years ago. I suspect it’s because The Rapture sound like the blueprint for a band made up of Pitchfork reviewers:

Put on your ski mask before you rob your favorite 80s and 90s new wave and dance influences; Take a decent dance beat and fuck it up with a bunch of noise so that it’s not as danceable and maybe, just maybe the cute girl wearing the old-school PJ Harvey shirt won’t notice how badly you dance; Then front the band with a guy who sounds like you warbling in the shower about how that stupid girl made fun of your dancing anyway.

10) “Revolution Rock,” The Clash. See, this is how you take your influences and make them your own. Cobagz.

11) “Sad About Girls,” Elvis Costello and the Attractions. P.S. This is also how you properly sing about being sad about girls. Double cobagz.

Have a great weekend, and stay golden, pony boys and girls!


bjkeefe said...

Re #1: Say what you will about the Beasties, but I will always have a warm spot for their special brand of obnoxiousness, especially given that one of them is the son of uber-cheese-master Neil Diamond.

Besides, I still love "Fight For Your Right" and "No Sleep Till Brooklyn," or whatever the exact titles are. And yes, I realize that those songs are getting on for as old as I am.

Re #3: "subliminable": We laugh now, but you're gonna get stuck like that. Me, I can't stop saying "misunderestimating."

Also, I do have to say watching Stu Copeland play drums is one of the best live music experiences I've ever had. If I found a few c-notes lying in the street, I might even consider buying a couple of tickets to see the reunion, but I don't actually think they'll pull it off. There is no arena in the known universe large enough to contain Sting's ego. In fact, I'm wondering how it fits into the universe at all.

Re #8: Don't try to get all "just folks" with the lame Simpsons mention. Just mentioning Pynchon, let alone knowing when a song refers to a specific book of his, makes you a latte-drinking, Volvo-driving, terrorist-loving member of the intellectual elite. The very fact that you're headed to the Northeast this weekend only proves it.

But have a good trip.

bjkeefe said...

Re: the known universe: Maybe I've just hit upon the explanation for the accelerating expansion. Forget the dark energy hypothesis or hand-waving about the neutrino's mass.

Sting's ego. Problem solved.

TJ said...

Thank you for saying what needed to be said about The Rapture. I learned about Pitchfork not long before they picked this album as their album of the year, so I bought it.

Those bastards.

Churlita said...

Can we kindly declare a moratorium on mentioning Sting's tantric sex practices? I'll be cruising along grooving on your random 11 and then, BAM! I have to think about Sting having sex for an entire day and then I can't remember anything on the list after that.

teh l4m3 said...

Sleater-Kinney? Somewhat outre for you, Brando...

Last week, I overheard someone talking about Paula Abdul and mentioning MC Skat Cat...

Story of my life in junior high.

A sad, chillingly prophetic song about Ted Kaczynski.

You are vicious.

Grendel said...

Viva, Sonic Youth! True, they are an acquired taste. Kind of like Guinness. And like Guinness they are Good For You. 'Specially that song.

Chuckles said...

Re:#3 I like that song.

Re: The ego of the singer of #3: The question isn't how his ego fits in the universe so much as how his ego fits in the universe with so much of said universe occupied by my wang.

Brando said...

I promise no more Sting sex talk in the Random 11.

Anonymous said...

re: sonic youth. i don't get them either.

the rapture make me glad i download new music before purchasing. one listen and down the digital crapper it went.
see also: the darkness

and hooray for the clash. they make any list a-ok :)