Monday, April 10, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: What are we thinking about while we're stuck in a meeting?

Special extra long off-site meeting edition!

12) Sending a T1000 back in time to kill the guy that invented PowerPoint.

11) Putting a concrete sock in Scooter's big mouth.

10) Engaging in a friendly merger with blonde from marketing.

9) The deal we're going to make when we turn state's evidence against the CEO.

8) Whether to use plastic knife to butter bagel or puncture own jugular.

7) Snakes on a Plane!

6) Wondering which one of these smelly bastards "moved their cheese."

5) Updating resume.

4) Sticking it to The Man through anonymous blog posts that skewer office culture.

3) Wishing we were practicing the Eighth Habit of highly effective people: Not Sitting in a Windowless Room Talking About the Same Bullshit Action Items That We Were Supposed to Put Into Action After the Last Goddamned Meeting.

2) How we would leap on the conference table, drop our pants, and molest the company mission statement, if only we'd picked the winning Lotto numbers.

1) The bullet points that will go on our headstones.


Anonymous said...

That's hysterical and I can totally relate. I work from home now so I really don't have to go to too many meetings -- which is a huge plus. After an hour or so, I tend to sit there and just stare at everyone's faces, watching their lips move and wondering why they think anything they have to say is important at all. Then I start to analyze why I think their spouses married them, etc.

I do have to go to a meeting today where the two people I'm going to see asked me to come in at 2:30 instead of 3 -- because they have so much to talk about. I feel a 2 1/2 hour meeting coming on. Not sure if I'm going to be able to take it.


I'll let you know at one point I start to think of Snakes on a Plane!

TLB said...

WHAT blonde from marketing???

squab said...

Oh, man, I am so blogging this. I just got out of a three hour "branding" meeting, and by the end I was seriously contemplating death by papercuts as a preferable fate. Lawsy.

pip said...

I followed this from squabs site-- but all i have to say is AMEN!!!

Brando said...

TLB, my love, you forget that Top Ten Tuesdays is about the collective "we," not the individual me. I was not thinking about the blonde from marketing, I was thinking about Snakes on a Plane.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about Snakes on a Plane, too -- did you read my post?

Unknown said...
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Brando said...

Sorry, Mitch, no dangling penises allowed in comments. Not that I have anything against dangling penises.