10) Trying to make the radiation gap more equitable between uranium and its richer cousin, plutonium.
9) Preparing for a pre-emptive nuclear strike on all remaining Western cartoonists.
8) Finally using up all the centrifuges we received as wedding gifts.
7) Just keeping up with the Jewses down the street.
6) Giving President Bush a reason to say “nuc-u-lar” a lot. That always cracks us up.
5) Producing the extra electricity needed to recharge our new hybrid camels.
4) Need to distract our abundance of Western-educated scientists from focusing on things like freedom of speech.
3) What else is there to do in Tehran on a Friday night?
2) So we can generate the 1.21 jigawatts needed to power our time machine and prevent the Shah from kissing President Eisenhower at the 1953 Coup d’Etat Dance!
1) Because, just like with your president, our God told us to.