Special extended outage edition!
15) Stealing items that require electricity.
14) Playing “let’s pretend we’re in Lebanon” with the kids.
13) Getting out the candles and back issues of Penthouse.
12) Continuing to be Amish.
11) Going to garage to sleep in running car so we’ll have AC.
10) Knocking back 40s until we black out.
9) Attempting to pick up women by donning a hardhat, orange vest, fake mustache, and air of authority.
8) Generating light by overturning cars and setting them on fire.
7) Double-fisting pints of Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia before they melt.
6) Wishing we had batteries for the Hitachi Magic Wand.
5) Making Freon martinis.
4) Pulling the plug on our chances for reelection.
3) Exchanging Jesus for our new savior, the Sun God.
2) Thinking about reading a book.
1) Sitting in front of dark TV, sobbing uncontrollably.