Thursday, July 20, 2006

Moral Lines for Dummies

A Reference for the Left Behind of Us!

When President Bush issued his first veto against Congress’s stem cell research bill, he said that the legislation crossed his “moral line.” But how can you tell where morality ends and Democracy begins? This handy guide will help you stay on the good side of good and take the theory of relativity out of your moral authority.

Moral: Endangering children for strategic bombing purposes
Immoral: Endangering embryos for scientific research purposes

Moral: Rejecting evolution
Immoral: Accepting global warming

Moral: Welfare cuts
Immoral: Tax hikes

Moral: Eliminating the estate tax
Immoral: Maintaining Social Security

Moral: Unilateral action
Immoral: Universal health care

Moral: Conducting illegal wiretapping
Immoral: Running legal exposés over the wire

Moral: Smearing a decorated veteran
Immoral: Smearing black ink over parts of your service records

Moral: Supporting the troops
Immoral: Recruiting your children

Moral: OxyContin addicts
Immoral: Crack whores

Moral: Unchecked deficits
Immoral: Checks and balances

Moral: Blowing the cover of an uncooperative CIA agent
Immoral: Blowing

Moral: Procreation
Immoral: Orgasm

Moral: Viagra
Immoral: Morning after

Moral: Condeming any discussion of the sexual orientation of the Vice President's daughter
Immoral: Discussing the marriage prospects of the Vice President's daughter

Moral: Backdoor drafts
Immoral: Backdoor buddies

Moral: Invasion plans
Immoral: Exit strategies

Moral: Tending to our lawns, bathrooms, and children
Immoral: Granting citizenship to our gardeners, maids, and nannies.

Moral: Slanting evidence to support a war
Immoral: Liberal bias

Moral: Harsh torture
Immoral: Seymour Hersh

Moral: Poisoned judges
Immoral: Activist judges

Moral: The Ten Commandments
Immoral: The Eight Beatitudes

Moral: Stretch Hummers
Immoral: Compact hybrids

Moral: Drilling the Alaskan snow
Immoral: Grilling Tony Snow

Moral: Reporting good news
Immoral: Catching bad guys

Moral: Maintaining unbridled arrogance and complete stubborness in the face of contradictory evidence
Immoral: Evidence


Chuckles said...

Haha -oh, it hurts my brain when I laugh now.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Wait, Chuckles has a brain...

I miss teh teh. He'd have a more snappy comment than me on C-unit's comment.