Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Why were we greeted so enthusiastically by the Albanians?

10) Crowds thought they were seeing Taylor Hicks.

9) Crowds thought they were seeing Bill Clinton.

8) President lifted his shirt to show his Zog Life tatoo.

7) In Albanian, “Enough is enough, Kosovo is independent” translates to, “The Serbs, the Serbs, the Serbs are on fire, we don’t need no water, let the motherfuckers burn!”

6) Albanians relieved that cannons fired by Secret Service agents only contained Bush/Cheney campaign t-shirts.

5) Not much else going on since it’s another week until goat racing season.

4) US Naval warplanes dropped thousands of leaflets offering 20% off at the Tirana Gap.

3) President offered the three tallest Albanians an NBA tryout.

2) Albanian government warned that if the crowds didn’t cheer loudly, Vice President Cheney would steal their children in the night.

1) As formerly the most backward part of the Iron Curtain, they really appreciate incompetent oligarchs.

19 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I have a friend in Kosvo whose wife works for an NGO. I am eager to see what he posts on the visit.

Trevor said...

11) They just wanted to steal our watches.

Noelle said...

They have lost so much hope. Bush actually seems like a good leader in comparison to theirs.

Anonymous said...

12). Albanian TV only shows Fox News.

billy pilgrim said...

We haven't detained any Albanians...yet.

Although I bet that after the watch thing, that's not true anymore.

I am Laughing Out Loud at our preznit for getting his watch stoled like a rube from Iowa on his first trip to the Big City. Is that so wrong? Does that make me a freedom hater?

Jennifer said...

Once again, very funny my little Brandina... you daisy, you!

Kathleen said...

that watch thing is so funny.

Kathleen said...

13) he promised them free Enver Ho Hoxhas?

14) just relieved Bush isn't declaring war on them to distract from his low approval ratings

Anonymous said...

He promised them senior positions in Alberto Gonzales' Attorneys Gone Wild Department of Justice.

mt

Churlita said...

15. The threat of a hunting trip with Cheney to anyone who didn't show wild enthusiasm.

Brando said...

Nice work, everyone. I should have done something with the watch thing.

I wish I was in Albania instead of dealing with work today.

pissed off patricia said...

They were excited to get to see the person they had heard was the stupidest human on earth.

They were showing him their hands so he wouldn't accuse them of hiding WMD.

ProudlyLiberal said...

Actually, they were pleased to see a representative (albeit the wrong one) of a country that conducted a successful, well-run, ultimately peaceful intervention, one that marshalled international support, waited until a coalition was ready, and then used a reasonable number of troops to do it. (For those of you who don't realize, I'm speaking, of course, of President Clinton's Kosovo intervention.)

Oh, and don't forget who violently opposed all those things: the Republicans.

Anonymous said...

15. He promised to block all news related to Paris Hilton.

blake said...

ProudlyLiberal:
the kosovo intervention wasnt the rosey picture you are trying to paint and actually favors more of bush going into iraq than not.

Anonymous said...

The truth is simple enough -- the crowd wasn't cheering Bush per se, but rather the fact that he was the first sitting US president to ever visit Albania. And of course our intervention in the Balkans makes us very popular among Albaninans -- in othere words, Bush was crusing on Clinton's good will.

I srongly suspect that the Biush people knew that a) there would be highly visible anti-Bush protests in Germany and b) the crowds would be pro-Bush in Bulgaria and Alania, and his handlers wanted to endthe trip with some positive footage.

Batocchio said...

I like #1 the best, I think.

;-)

billy pilgrim said...

#20. It was advertised as a chance to win a free Rolex. First come, first served.

Ronzoni Rigatoni said...

I have had the misfortune of spending a few months in Tirana and Schoder, and have concluded that these folx are not overly bright. For e.g., during the Cold War they built thousands of machinegun nests, dome-shaped cement monstrosities, about every 30 feet, throughout the country in preparation for, what? World War I?

However, judging from the many pulchritudinous lasses strolling about, they seem to have repealed the law of gravity.