10) Hiding border patrol agents in Trojan Piñatas.
9) Using series of Guinness Fly Traps to round up Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.
8) Bestowing automatic green cards for shortstops with good range and power.
7) Redirecting the Big Dig to construct one-way tunnel to China.
6) Deporting anyone adding “eh?” to end of non-interrogative sentences.
5) Restoring the God-given right of poor Americans to work menial jobs for immigrant wages.
4) Mandating that all NBA players have at least one vowel per syllable in last names.
3) Using light bulb installation test to catch illegal Polish immigrants.
2) Rounding up all angry white guys and returning them to their native homeland, Idaho.
1) Granting all illegal immigrants “shamnesty,” which will allow them to stay here until the next wave of elected assholes decides otherwise.