Special extra precautions edition!
11) Choking-hazard parts can no longer be covered in delicious candy-coated shell.
10) Discontinuing production of the Venus Fly Crib.
9) Enacting constitutional amendment forbidding the marrying of two Ken dolls.
8) Testers must scatter toys on shag carpeting and walk barefoot across them in the dark, then check for lacerations and tetanus.
7) Replacing all lead in toys with corn-based ethanol.
6) Game of Operation requires proof of health insurance before purchase.
5) Chinese-made rubber duckies can no longer be made out of leftover General Tso’s Chicken.
4) Fisher Price’s My First Meth Lab must include number for addiction recovery hotline.
3) Only allowing production of toys mentioned in the Bible.
2) Installing foam locks on all Nerf guns.
1) Telling children they can no longer take any toys out of the packaging.