Special extra holy shit edition!
12) Advance copy of The Origin of Species.
11) Bones from biblical ancestor of Geraldo Rivera.
10) Mysterious new car smell.
9) Ancient flower arrangements reading “Beloved Savior” and “Son of God.”
8) Unpaid bill from Last Supper.
7) DNA evidence proving Mary Magdalene was actually time-travelling Sarah Conner.
6) Engraved stone snapshots from the Honeymoon in Cana.
5) Curse that makes King Tut’s look like a head cold.
4) Report card showing Jesus's son Judah failing theology, with note to teacher saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll put the fear of God in him.”
3) Unopened box of Shroud of Turin knockoffs.
2) Plot for next Dan Brown novel and/or Indiana Jones movie.
1) One hell of a tempest in a Talpiot.