Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we curing our homosexuality?

10) Going to the gayest straight camp evar!*

9) Picturing John Podhoretz’s back.

8) Asking to be locked in prison until we’re cured.

7) Channeling our sexual energy into new career in pro wrestling.

6) Rubbing on a little Gay-Away ointment we bought from a religious website...then a little more...just a bit more...oh God, where’s the Abercrombie catalog?

5) Taking a cue from the Apostles and going on a fishing trip with 11 other closeted guys.

4) Using an umbrella when it’s raining men.

3) Joining the priesthood/ministry/Boy Scouts/Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines/NBA/GOP.

2) Marrying Liza.

1) Praying. Really hard. So very, very, very hard. Oh God, where’s that Abercrombie catalog?

*Hat tip to midniter at Republic of Dogs for the inspiration for this week's list.


BOSSY said...

11) Joining AA

Brendan said...

Re #3:

The NFL and MLB are way gayer than the NBA -- all that fanny-patting and group hugging. Not to mention the codpieces.

The NBA, by contrast, moved away from tight short shorts long ago. I suppose that could be seen as a denial thing.

Brando said...

True, Brendan. After all, the NFL has a position called the tight end, and play begins when one man comes up behind another while he's bent over to receive a ball from him.

Baseball of course has endless amounts of crotch "adjusting."

Churlita said...

Ooooh, codpieces, fanny patting and tight ends. I really need to start watching more sports.

Brendan said...

And, of course, wide receiver.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Harrassing bloggers like Amanda Marcotte and Shakes Sister because we're jealous of their sexuality.

fish said...

Spending hour after hour after hour checking out redhotghettomesses.com at Freedom Camp. No honest, I was only checking out redhotghettomesses.com. Really. I mean it. I swear I went right past Hottie Saturday. Stop looking at me like that.

teh l4m3 said...

12) Becoming spokesperson for the GOP.

Oh, and fish, you know that reading my blog makes you totally gay, right?

fish said...

Zapped by a gayzer?

Clif said...

#13 -- Dating Ken Mehlman