10) Free airfare for soldiers deployed to Iraq (military discounts on Southwest airlines still available).
9) Fancy 2-ply toilet paper for Congress (take that, Pelosi!).
7) Anything that smells like old people.
6) Complimentary pie and hookers for corporate lobbyists (sorry, business, we had to sacrifice something).
4) Brush (that stuff is everywhere!).
3) 50% of compassionate conservatism.
2) Everything that doesn’t shoot, explode, detain, or kick back enough tax money to store our yachts for the winter.
1) Reality (check, please!).