Friday CJ Random 11

It's one more random than 10!

I bought a couple CDs this week and have now crossed the 6,000 song mark on my iPod. Even if, hypothetically speaking, I only purchased 50% of those songs (hear that, RIAA, I said hypothetically), I feel like I should kick myself in the ass for not buying the kinds of CDs that make money. But then my Friday Random 11 would just be lists of interest rates, which is so not rock.

Here we go:

1) “Scentless Apprentice,” Nirvana. Ooh, it’s going to be a very angry Friday. This doesn’t smell anything like teen spirit. More like a teen who gets paid to take out the garbage, but wants to show he can do more than take out the garbage, yet doesn’t want to lose his garbage allowance. Tragedy ensues.

2) “Guys Like Me,” Aimee Mann. She makes writing pop gems sound so effortless. She probably tossed this off while splitting a bagel with hubby Michael Penn and doing the New York Times crossword. 16 Down: ____, _____, voices carry.

3) “Kalifornia,” Fatboy Slim. Wow, this is only 10 years old but sounds almost as dated as the Fat Boys. The beginning has a Yello, “Oh, Yeah,” feel, like this would be used at the end of Ferris Bueller’s Second Day Off, where Ferris ditches a big meeting at the office. Hilarity ensues.

4) “What Jail Is Like,” The Afghan Whigs. I love this song and the album, but it always makes me grateful I got married early, because I never had to sound like this after a breakup. You can practially taste the bile, and it makes for terrific listening because it's not my bile. Lucky for us eHarmony wasn't around in 1992 or this album may not have ever been recorded.

5) “We’re a Happy Family,” The Ramones. Happy Ramones songs are all alike; every unhappy Ramones song is...also alike. Maybe the first rock band where the drummer outlived everyone else.

6) “New York,” U2. We move from sitting in Queens eating refried beans to sitting in Ellis Island waiting for the...highland? Sorry, that's all I could get from the online rhyming dictionary. In this song, Bono is telling us to celebrate our differences and for the different ethnicities to hug it out, preferably in Manhattan. Just not on St. Patrick's day, because you'll get a pint glass across the nose, you bloody foreigners!

7) “John Saw That Number,” Neko Case. I like Neko Case for a lot of reasons. One is that her voice can melt glaciers faster than Phillies pitcher Jon Lieber’s truck. Second, she is an age-appropriate candidate for my hot list, which is a big relief. For a while, I worried I would have to change my name to Humbert Humbert.

8) “The Bed’s Too Big Without You,” The Police. And the good reunion tour tickets are too expensive for me. I would really like to see them on tour, even though I know I’ll be so far away I’ll only be able to see Sting’s ego. During the Synchronicity tour, my uncle (a big music fan) was going to take me to see them. However, they were playing in old Comiskey Park on the South Side of Chicago, which was odious not only for being home of the White Sox, but site of the famed Disco Demolition Night riot. I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll see them on the next tour.”

9) “(I’m) Stranded,” The Saints. A great bit of 70s Aussie punk. They should be called The Black and Deckers because the guitar in this song is a buzzsaw. Not sure what’s up with the parentheses, though. Parentheses are not punk.

10) “Banquet,” Bloc Party. My most played album of the last two years. I like it so much I’m reluctant to buy their new one because I know I’ll be disappointed. I hate it when that happens. I hope they don’t join the Afghan Whigs and Stone Roses in the We Killed Our Careers Because Our First Albums Were Too Good Hall of Fame.

11) “Concrete Bed,” Nada Surf. This is a catchy, peppy rock tune from their excellent album, The Weight Is a Gift. Nada Surf are like a Culver’s Butterburger: freshy made, always tasty, free of frills, and clogging my heart with their goodness.

Happy Friday! Hope none of you needed penicillin after Valentine’s Day.