Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: What Resolutions Did We Make?

Special extra resolve edition!

15) Make absolutely sure we never forget the safe word again.

14) Put some stickum on before playing with our Nintendo Wii.

13) Ask Ethiopia for their secret recipe for military success.

12) Start going through Obama's trash.

11) Post clearly marked signs in the execution chamber that read, “No videotaping/flash photography/cans/bottles.”

10) Maximize chances for losing virginity by taking a binge drinker to the prom.

9) Post pictures on MySpace only when sober.

8) Tell friends to wake us up before we go-go driving.

7) Cut smoking by having a cigarette when a Republican says something intelligent.

6) Curb cinematic pollution by reducing noxious Ben Stiller emissions.

5) Throw passes only to players in Bears uniforms.

4) Keep mum about how we feel about Jews and black people when approached by Los Angeles police officers or high-fiving Central Asian “journalists.”

3) Win The Biggest Loser by starting a heroin habit.

2) Kick our heroin habit.

1) Upgrade military situation in Iraq from “completely FUBAR” to “total clusterfuck.”

7 comments:

MichaelBains said...

Dude! #13 is Spot. Freakin'. On!

And thanks for #7. I might just hafta incorporate that one into this years annual attempt.

Happy New Year!!!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Post pictures on Myspace while sober? You'd be the only one posting then!!!

Chuckles said...

That is why I stay the hell off MySpace.

No, it isn't I stay away because it is so horribly lame unless you have a band.

BOSSY said...

16) Merge YouTube with iTunes so we can all iYourTubbyTuneys.

teh l4m3 said...

Hey! YourTube is in MySpace!

Brando said...

No, MySpace is in YourTube!

Wait, that sounds more dirty than peanut-choclatey...

Churlita said...

Let's not even get into what that is all over your Facebook...