Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: What are we revealing in tonight's State of the Union?

10) Every time freedom rings, and Iraqi gets his wings.

9) The infallible Word of God or whomever it is that keeps giving orders that only we can hear.

8) Secret code possibly revealing next country we plan to liberate. However, this code will only be available to members of Little Orphan Annie’s Secret Decoder Club.

7) A love for Dick Cheney that we can no longer keep in the cloakroom.

6) That we’re ready to get this Republican Party started! (cue House music)

5) A plea for all members of Congress to put aside their partisan differences and let the Executive Branch do whatever the fuck it wants.

4) In order to make health care more meaningful and affordable, old people will be allowed to die in peace and dignity, without the embarrassing interference of hospitals, doctors, or medicines.

3) The United States will curb the problem of illegal immigration by annexing the rest of the Western Hemisphere.

2) That we have a plan for winning the war in Iraq, reducing the deficit, providing health care to the uninsured, and curbing immigration.

1) That said plan is top secret.


Churlita said...

Nice post. Maybe W. will finally apologize, admit that he was drunk this whole time, and talk about how he's now seeking treatment.

Churlita said...


Blogger told me the last one didn't go through. Blogger is a liar. Feel free to delete one or both.

Brendan said...

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one with MPP (Multiple Post Problems).

Great TTT, Brando. Dunno if you saw my blog today, but there's a good, related post on this same subject. Not as funny as yours, but well worth the read.

Re #5: I'm pretty sure Bush has already deployed footsoldier Kristol to implement this.

Re #3: It's not at all clear to me that we could even subdue Costa Rica at this point.

almostinfamous said...

if by top secret, you mean the place where they store sanity, world peace and the last unicorn then it probably is.

almostinfamous said...

and brendan, there's always haiti...

Brando said...

C, Blogger has been very fidgety lately. I deleted your duplicate comment.

The good news is, we only have one more State of the Union left from W. The bad news is we have one State of the Union left from W.

teh l4m3 said...

11) That Social Security dropped rohypnol in Jenna's Harvey Wallbanger and banged her, and therefore we must have regime change in Syria. Let's roll!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

You also forgot,

"Buy US bonds and down with the USSR."

Bush is so non partisan with his messages. He and Altmouse should go Gap shopping together sometime.

Noelle said...

If I was the president, I'd walk up there and say, "I'd tell you, but I'll have to kill you." Then I'd walk off and have a beer. I could do that, because I would be the president, and most people are sick of their favorite shows being pre-empted anyway.