Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we missing George W. Bush?

10) WTF? Are you serious?

9) Okay, it was kind of awesome to be smarter than the president.

8) And we miss Jon Stewart’s Bush almost as much as his Dick impression.

7) Still, we’d rather have a CIA interrogator electroshock our taint than go through those eight years again.

6) Although, if we were rich, we’d love another tax cut to have the money to build walls around our McMansions and not have to look at all the foreclosure signs.

5) We’d also really love to get back to “don’t tax and spend,” which took Americans’ love of credit card debt and made it a national economic strategy. All we’d have to do is make a balance transfer from one foreign creditor to another offering us 0% APR for six months.

4) Plus, there’s something appealing about a president who didn’t overthink things, or even think about them, and instead just did what Jesus told him.

3) He also brought democracy to Iraq for the low price of our national integrity, trillions of dollars, and hundreds of thousands of bodies.

2) Finally, who didn’t admire the philosophical conundrums of his anti-omnipotence, such as: could George W. Bush make a mess so bad even he couldn’t fuck it up any further?

1) In the end, though, this is kind of like saying we don’t like the janitor and instead miss the guy who shit all over the toilet. And everybody hates that guy except for other assholes who think it's funny to shit all over a toilet and then make a black guy clean it up.


Jennifer said...

Number 1 should be in bold print.

Brando said...

I just couldn't believe that NYT editorial. If only I subscribed so I could have lined the cat boxes with it.

fish said...

Stanley gives a bad name to fish everywhere.

Kathleen said...

that was a new low

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

There was a President between Clinton and Obama?

Huh. why don't we hear about that on the news?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Stanley just wants to make sure Camille Paglia doesn't steal any of his site visits.

Jennifer said...

I just couldn't believe that NYT editorial. If only I subscribed so I could have lined the cat boxes with it.

I tried to line the litter box with my monitor, but remembered I don't have cats.

adi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
almostinfamous said...

12) nobody to tell us(and judith miller) bedtime stories about WMD.

15) at least the republicans under bush were power-mad, instead of now just being plain mad

17) even though the new administration keeps fucking up, they have a long way to go to be as purely evil.

95) dont have to have a prefrontal lobotomy just to run for president

124) being a white, male, C-student doesn't mean much anymore...

(PS: word-check was 'biden'!)

Snag said...

I could almost spit on that sign from here.

Say, that gives me an idea....