Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Top Ten Tuesdays: What new anti-immigration measures are we enacting?

10) Requiring Hispanics to pass an assimilation test by eating an entire Gordita.

9) Authorizing the Tasering of any person using adding “eh?” to a sentence.

8) Making all legal immigrants display their legal status by wearing a yellow star on their clothes.

7) Demanding that George Lopez present his driver’s license on camera before he can present the opening monologue.

6) Installing an anti-ship missile battery in the Statue of Liberty’s torch.

5) Forbidding anyone not born in the United States from getting on the ballot unless they are of European-bodybuilder or time-traveling-cyborg ancestry.

4) Pre-approving bailouts for the landscaping, child care, domestic servant, construction, restaurant, agricultural, and professional baseball industries.

3) Training all law enforcement officials how to say “Papers?” in a German accent.

2) Preventing racial profiling abuses by requiring at least two white people to agree someone looks like an illegal alien.

1) Following the simple rule: if it’s white, it’s all right; if it’s brown, take it down.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

.6) Paying bloggers to post anti-Rush diatribes.

Kathleen said...

LOL #10. and all of them.

code word: Chutator.
El Snacktator's cousin?

Substance McGravitas said...

I say lure illegal immigrants into the country with free trips to Disneyland and then ship 'em on back home after two weeks.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

8) Making all legal immigrants display their legal status by wearing a yellow star on their clothes.

That ought to be the point every single non-rethug makes about this egregious nonsense, from now on.

Churlita said...

I love that Illegal immigrant picture of the pilgrims going around Facebook lately.

Another Kiwi said...

11. All immigrant legislation must enrich Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

fish said...

17,000) Immediately arrest anyone who asks that you "put down the two-fours side by each".

Kathleen said...

enrich Sheriff Joe Arpaio

serious. How is that guy still around?