10) Requiring Hispanics to pass an assimilation test by eating an entire Gordita.
9) Authorizing the Tasering of any person using adding “eh?” to a sentence.
8) Making all legal immigrants display their legal status by wearing a yellow star on their clothes.
7) Demanding that George Lopez present his driver’s license on camera before he can present the opening monologue.
6) Installing an anti-ship missile battery in the Statue of Liberty’s torch.
5) Forbidding anyone not born in the United States from getting on the ballot unless they are of European-bodybuilder or time-traveling-cyborg ancestry.
4) Pre-approving bailouts for the landscaping, child care, domestic servant, construction, restaurant, agricultural, and professional baseball industries.
3) Training all law enforcement officials how to say “Papers?” in a German accent.
2) Preventing racial profiling abuses by requiring at least two white people to agree someone looks like an illegal alien.
1) Following the simple rule: if it’s white, it’s all right; if it’s brown, take it down.