Thursday, April 08, 2010

Top Ten Thursdays: How are we welcoming Tiger Woods back to golf?

10) Setting up a private tour of Augusta with our niece, Lacey Underalls.

9) Sending him a coupon for “all he can eat” at the local Perkins.

8) Offering a lucrative sponsorship from Trojan.

7) Changing the green jacket from a sport coat to a smoking jacket.

6) Providing free transportation from the Bang Bus.

5) Letting him motorboat our breasts (Phil Mickelson only).

4) Sticking a monogrammed Fleshlight in his bag.

3) Promoting awareness of sexual addiction by wearing penis-shaped ribbons.

2) Sending him a congratulatory text message that says, "way 2 swing out of that rough and stick it in the hole."

1) Forgiving his years of appalling, adulterous behavior the second he makes an exciting shot.


Jennifer said...

I think he needs Trojan covers on his woods.

Von said...

#11 Invite Hugh Hefner to be his caddy.

fish said...

I think he needs Trojan covers on his woods.


Substance McGravitas said...

Golf is duller than the Tiger soap opera, which has some comic moments. The trick is, then, less golf and more Benny Hill theme.