Top Ten Tuesdays: What strategies will we be using during the vice presidential debate?

10) Showing a little breast/ball cleavage.

9) Sidestepping tough questions by reminding voters how we passed out oranges to youth league hockey players after games.

8) Talking non-stop until the everyone in the hall falls asleep, then peeking at the moderator’s question cards before he wakes up.

7) Promoting the historically accurate accomplishments of the Democratic party, such as how Franklin Roosevelt created the Apollo program and JFK could have cured with cancer with his tears, except he was too tough to cry.

6) Forgoing talking points in favor of insulting the audience, Don Rickles style.

5) Saying, “asphinctersayswhat?” under our breath every time our opponent talks.

4) Repeating the question loudly, looking thoughtful, then repeating what the guys in the van say into our earpiece.

3) Finishing the details to our solution to the financial crisis: returning America to a pelt-based economy.

2) Practicing saying “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad” without giggling.

1) Praying. Lots and lots of praying.