Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: What strategies will we be using during the vice presidential debate?

10) Showing a little breast/ball cleavage.

9) Sidestepping tough questions by reminding voters how we passed out oranges to youth league hockey players after games.

8) Talking non-stop until the everyone in the hall falls asleep, then peeking at the moderator’s question cards before he wakes up.

7) Promoting the historically accurate accomplishments of the Democratic party, such as how Franklin Roosevelt created the Apollo program and JFK could have cured with cancer with his tears, except he was too tough to cry.

6) Forgoing talking points in favor of insulting the audience, Don Rickles style.

5) Saying, “asphinctersayswhat?” under our breath every time our opponent talks.

4) Repeating the question loudly, looking thoughtful, then repeating what the guys in the van say into our earpiece.

3) Finishing the details to our solution to the financial crisis: returning America to a pelt-based economy.

2) Practicing saying “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad” without giggling.

1) Praying. Lots and lots of praying.


Kathleen said...

I prefer a smelt-based economy

fish said...

Showing a little breast/ball cleavage.

Which VP candidate shows which?

Churlita said...

15.) Rolling our eyes and making the open and close "too much talkie, talkie" with our hand motion while your opponent is speaking. Then right in the middle whine loudly, "This is so boooooring!"

rotten mcdonald said...

17) "I'd like to use a lifeline, Gwen"

teh l4m3 said...

11.) Once again donning that white hood and taking out Ifill's other ankle.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Oh no. The media is not sexist.

Sarah Palin said so.

Grendel said...

Inhaling a can of spinach through a corncob pipe, then squawking, "Ack ack ack ack ack!!"

Jennifer said...

Brando's been AWOL from commenting for awhile. I wonder if he's been enlisted by the Right to debate in drag tonight.

Kathleen said...

he's busy writing zingers for SP tonight.

"I love the South. You know the difference between the South and a bull moose? Accent."


Brando said...

I am sorry I've been absent and wish it was because of something fun. Just been busy with work this week. I actually have a Sarah Palin thing I started I want to finish today.

rotten mcdonald said...

better finish it today, Bran-man. Before events make it moot.