It's one more random than 10!
A funny story from last week’s Bears-Panthers game. It was hot and muggy in Charlotte, and our seats, while offering an excellent view of the field, were about three feet from the sun. At halftime I went to get something to eat, grabbing a pop, hot dog and pretzel, the last two items having mustard on them.
I began the long, sherpa-esque climb to our seats. I noticed, as my feet trudged up step after step, that my shorts were about to fall down. They were loose to begin with, and I had forgotten to pack a belt. But the 90 degree weather and my profuse sweating turned them into a khaki slip-n-slide. As I tried to adjust my hands to pull them up a little more, I gave my mustard-laden hot dog a big fat hug, leaving a paintball-sized splotch of golden yellow on my dark blue Bears shirt.
Tickle, being the loving brother he is, pointed at me and yelled out, “Hey, that guy’s got mustard all over his shirt!” Which the Charlotte fans enjoyed also pointing out for the next ten rows. Have I said how much I like my brother?
On to the tunes...
1) “Blowin’ in the Wind (Live),” Bob Dylan. There’s one thing I hope eventually fades from the political horizon: fighting over the 60s. This election in particular seems really bad, with McCain’s POW status on one side and whether Obama ever shook hands with one of the Weathermen on the other. Enough. The 60s are over and it was a tie. We can have sex more easily but pot's illegal. We know that Vietnam was a colossal clusterfuck, but if you say that, you can kiss your political career goodbye. We have enduring music from that time, but also saw that music turn into Starship and $300 Stones tickets and "Ebony and Ivory." Let's just move on.
2) “No More Mr. Nice Guy,” Alice Cooper. We, meaning the American voting public, are full of shit. Barack Obama rose on a platform of playing nice with others, which resonated because we, the voting public, are supposedly tired of electoral politics being fought in the drainage ditch outside the rendering plant. However, when Senator Matlock started going negative, it’s like he had a Sears Die Hard plugged into his campaign. And you know, it’s always been that way ever since John Adams ran for office. So fuck it, let’s embrace it. It’s not that I want campaigns to do anything illegal or immoral, or that I even want more attack ads that make balloon animals out of the facts. Instead, make commercials like the Tina Fey-Sarah Palin sketch, where you show just how stupid and empty your opponent is without having to cite anything. Or run a wordless ad of McCain hugging Bush, set to the tune of Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting." That's negativity you can believe in.
3) “Favorite Thing,” The Replacements. My favorite fuckups. The Let It Be album is just so young. It’s got that energy and pathos and anger that you only have for such a brief time in your life. You do have to move past that period or you wind up looking like a joke (or, sadly, like late guitarist Bob Stinson, dead). It’s just kind of sad to let it go.
4) “I Get Wet,” Andrew W.K. I don’t know what possessed me to buy this years ago. I think I heard “Party Hard” and thought it sounded like a fun, tongue-in-cheek song to drive really fast to. Then I got the album and realized that he didn’t seem to be kidding. It’s like swallowing codeine-laced Pez. Oh, and he’s apparently a motivational speaker. I wonder if he uses this album cover for his posters.
5) “Who Are You,” The Who. Insanity is trying to mimic Keith Moon on a set of plastic toy drums, which I have been trying to do since buying The Who Track Pack for Rock Band. Even this song, one his more straightforward, gives me rhytmic epilepsy.
6) “Hey Ladies,” Beastie Boys. The best cowbell this side of “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” Awesome video too.
7) “City vs. Country,” Mobius Band. One of my favorite songs that few have heard of. I don’t usually get too uppity about being a music snob. I enjoy pouring melted megahit cheese on my good-for-you indie music broccoli. Every so often, though, I like having a little nugget of music to call my own. This is one of those nuggets.
8) “Sweet Child o’ Mine,” Guns N’ Roses. I love it now as much as I did then. The song got played to death, Axl became a bloated joke, Slash, Duff, and Matt Sorum formed the GnR tribute band Velvet Revolver...none of that matters. I still do the Axl shake and air guitar the solo. That’s the sign of a classic.
9) “The Well and the Lighthouse,” Arcade Fire. Neon Bible is about as good as music has gotten in the last 10 years. I get annoyed when people complain that music sucks these days when albums like this are being made.
10) “Dim,” Dada. They will always be known for their one hit, “Dizz Knee Land,” but this song is the one I kept over the years. The Lovely Becky had this on cassette (!) back when we were dating, and we would throw it in the tape deck (!!!) of my car, roll the windows down, and drive with this song blasting.
11) “Closing Time,” Semisonic. Welcome to CJSD TV’s Buzz Bin. We’ll be playing hot new videos from all your favorite 90s groups that have disappeared into the ether. Up next, the latest from Harvey Danger!
Actually, I still dig this song and the very underrated album it hails from. Make a catchy, guitar driven song that has a singalong chorus, yet adds some other flourishes (musical or lyrical), and you can pretty much take me to bed. Musically, that is.
Have a great weekend. And if you’re going to a football game, watch out for that mustard.