Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we rescuing our financial institutions?

Special day late and 85 billion dollars short edition!

10) Increasing the street value of retirement accounts by changing them to 401 kilo plans.

9) Allowing the full drilling of previously restricted taxpayer deposits.

8) Unveiling our stimulation plan for the new Merrill Lynch.

7) Requiring CEOs to have golden chastity belts so they can’t fuck over the economy.

6) Offering them a pre-approved line of credit with no interest for six months on their balance transfers!

5) Making Senator McCain write a book report on Economics for Dummies.

4) Constructing a giant, federally insured couch that will store emergency currency under the cushions.

3) Rounding our losses down to the nearest trillion.

2) Putting their schwag on eBay before they run out of money.

1) Giving the free market the freedom to get government handouts.

4 comments:

Snag said...

12) Watching the market scratch its ass with its invisible hand.

Jennifer said...

Let's hear it for #7!

Snag, have you unveiled your economic plan yet? Will it be a moose market?

rotten mcdonald said...

17. Bake Sales

Kathleen said...

18) relieved we had the foresight to get Heath Ledger to star in our stockholder informational video.