Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: What changes are we making to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?

Special extra big bailout edition!

11) Borrowers facing foreclosure must serve as indentured servants of Chinese investors who own their mortgages.

10) Bad credit risks can get pre-approved with qualified military enlistment.

9) Instead of being FDIC-insured, all future loans will have faith-based guarantees.

8) Board members will be chosen from winners of public Monopoly tournaments.

7) Once per year, a virgin hedge fund manager will be offered as a sacrifice.

6) Risky loan behavior will be curbed only through financial-abstinence-only education.

5) Shareholders are to be rounded up, shorn of their stock certificates, and put out to pasture.

4) High adjustable-rate mortgages may be exchanged for high-caliber weapons under new “ARMs for Arms” program.

3) All employees must wear matching question-mark suits.

2) Future CEOs must have at least one redeeming quality.

1) Taxpayers will be required to purchase their own lube.


almostinfamous said...

12) make sure that golden parachutes are not really made of gold.

Jennifer said...

527)Every approved applicant will also have to pay mortgage on a new house for McCain.

rotten mcdonald said...

nice one on the numbering, Jennifer.

Churlita said...

If I had known home loans were that sexual, I would have stopped renting years ago.

Kathleen said...

"ARMs for arms" = LOL

Grendel said...

13) Programs to merge, be renamed Fannie Flagg.