10) Passed out special Green Zone whoopee cushions that make the sound of mortar fire.
9) Stuffed cucumber wrapped in tinfoil down pants before going to campus abstinence group meeting.
8) Replaced the water in waterboarding with Palmolive.
7) Hit spring in the groin with a giant snowball.
6) Developed elaborate cross-country road-trip ruse just to kidnap John Cusack.
5) Filled John McCain’s All-Bran with Viagra before breakfast fundraiser with the Concerned Women for America.
4) Hired Publisher’s Clearing House to deliver oversized eviction notices to defaulting home owners.
3) Gave Big Oil a stern tongue lashing before cracking up and giving them the usual tongue bath.
2) Dressed up in sombreros, bandoliers, and fake mustaches, then snuck through Lou Dobbs’s backyard.
1) Sent Americans their tax rebates in pennies.