9) Tying story of loaves and fishes to campaign contributions.
8) Going ix nay on the Mormon-ay.
7) Offering to retroactively stone Bill Clinton.
6) Calling for the revival of the Crusades.
5) Revealing “Church” and “State” tattoos on each buttock.
4) Letting Fox News crucify our opponents.
3) Outlining national Manishevitz/Blood-of-Christ exchange
2) Swearing that sanctity of remarriage will not be sullied by gay unions.
1) Promising The Rapture by 2008 or your money back!
9 comments:
did you know there are mormons in hyderabad, india?
they have a church too. i'll take a picture next time i'm in the area
11) Buying spray paint and tagging the Constitution with "WWJD."
They've really got to find some way of assuring them that Jesus doesn't consider it Infidelity when it's for Gay sex. Do that and the entire whacko, err, fundamentalist, base of the Republican Party will re-register as Democrats.
One way to tell if Romney is really trying to be Evangelical instead of Mormon, is to check to see if he's still wearing that funny looking underwear.
12. I'm no longer threatening the Witnesses with large-bore weaponry when they happen upon my doorstep; now, I just set the dogs on them.
dont you love the giant cross Coulter wears to reach out to religious voters
"Buying spray paint and tagging the Constitution with "WWJD.""
:)
Reminds me of the bumper sticker I once saw that read:
WWBD "What Would Bush Did?"
13) Verrrrry carefully...
14) refraining from speculation about what led to Aldridge's demise.
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