Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: What are we putting in our memoirs?

10) Five-page sex scene that really only lasted about a sentence and a half.

9) An assload of coveting our neighbor's razor.

8) El Presidente Bush es un chingando pendejo grande!

7) A few dozen pertinent facts that we forgot to tell the jury.

6) Revelation that we would only cut interest rates after killing a drifter and reading his innards.

5) Harrowing tales of snorting coke off of Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s tits.

4) Harrowing tales of snorting coke off of Vince Neil’s tits.

3) A marriage secret: the couple that stays together is the couple that shoots old men in the face together.

2) Lots more material for this blog to plagerize.

1) Limited edition pubic hair bookmarks.

9 comments:

Adorable said...

Um, ya forgot the title.

And you stole "glory hole" for your tag line from AG. AG claimed glory hole and corn hole from Res!

Kathleen said...

no AG, WE'RE supposed to come up with what this is a list of.

"Top Ten items appearing in Brando's Nightmares"

"Top Ten reasons we're not going to be elected mayor of Bootytown"

"Top ten rejected openings to Karl Rove's memoir"

Brando said...

Kathleen, that's a pretty good idea. I may have to try that. It would be like Jeopardy, but with categories about cock rings. In this case, however, it is blogger idiocy.

AG, what are you, the Disney Corporation?

Jennifer said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY EYES! MY EYES!! THEY BURRRRRRRNNN!!!!

Churlita said...

After reading, "snorting coke off of Vince Neil's tits", and "pubic hair bookmarks", I can feel a little bile rising in the back of my throat. Thanks, Brando.

Distributorcap said...

once i saw the elizabeth hasselback/coke/tits reference

i had to say
what a waste of blow

Snag said...

AG: I'm Minnie the Fucking Mouse, bitches!

Adorable said...

Snag, shut it!

BOSSY said...

11) Our custody hearing transcript.