Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: What Propositions Are We Voting For?

Prop. 69: Requires mandatory oral sex within marriage (aka Dan Savage’s Law).

Prop. THX-1138: Prohibits George Lucas from ever getting behind a camera again.

Prop. 2112: Authorizes an international force to deliver an extreme makeover on Geddy Lee.

Prop. 8675309: Prohibits overuse of one-hit-wonder ring tones, punishable by decapitation with a Now That’s What I Call Music! disc.

Prop. WD-40: Requires husband or butch partner to get off lazy good for nothin’ ass and fix that door with squeaky goddamned hinge.

Prop 21-JS: Authorizes Johnny Depp to go undercover and teach our kids some very special lessons.

Prop. 666: Outlaws any attempts to bring Satan back to the material plane and thus trigger the end of the world.

Prop. 777: Outlaws any attempts to bring Stryper back to the musical plane and thus trigger the end of rock.

Prop. .08: Allocates tax dollars for the development of talking Trans Ams so they can drive us back from the bar and order us some White Castles on the way home.

Prop. 24: Requires all U.S. national security crises to be solved in one day.

Prop. 2006: Changes current voting laws so that P. Diddy dies if you vote!*

*Who needs more reason than that? Get out there and get yer fingers purple!

6 comments:

Churlita said...

Oh my god, these are all so good. Voter turn-out would be so high if these were the real propositions.

So quick, make up an OU812 proposition. Would it be similar to the 2112 one?

Brando said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brando said...

Good suggestion. How about:

Prop. OU-812: Requires immediate deportation to Cabo Wabo for any musician guilty of excessive punning on album titles (aka the REO Speedwagon You Can't Tune a Piano but You Can Tuna Fish law)

teh l4m3 said...

I'm voting for Proposition 227, which makes it mandatory for Jackée to register with the authorities before moving into a new neighborhood.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

It's shit like that that make gays and straights burn for teh teh!

fish said...

Prop. THC-301: Requires Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey to carry bongos and be trailed by a video crew 24/7.