10) Tried to lead underage page toward Congressional mounting.
9) Took too long to cover our tracks before the race.
8) Got slowed down carrying huge bags of coins through Ohio.
7) Failed to evolve our gameplan against scientific evidence.
6) Burned out our clutch hitting due to a faulty A-Rod.
5) Chased the wrong nut in the Axis of Evil shell game.
4) Lost our balance while taunting the guys behind us about our fairness.
3) Gambled with our moral authority and got called by a pair of middle fingers.
2) Slipped on some macaca while running.
1) Looked down and saw we were wearing Arizona Cardinals jerseys.