10) George Romero's Night of the Living Four-Hour Erections.
9) Not knowing what we did last summer. Seriously, what happened, and why is it all scabby?
8) Being locked inside our house on Halloween and forced to pray with our born-again parents.
7) Terrorists could attack our ports with massive all-in bets.
6) Guy at the gym who transforms into a werewolf when he takes off his shirt.
5) The man-eating ogre that lives in the Washington swamp.
4) The recurring dream where we're trapped in a maze with no way out and surrounded by monsters who keep coming no matter how much we shoot and then waking up in time to go on patrol in Baghdad.
3) The Korean version of “99 Luftballoons.”
2) The IMs we’re getting from the Congressman are coming from inside the House!