Friday, September 01, 2006

Concession stand of dreams

TLB and I accompanied our friends SER and Bob and a couple of their friends from the Bay Area to the last home game of our local minor league ballclub. It was a perfect night for baseball, but little did I know what majesty awaited us inside.

At the concession stand, I ordered two hot dogs and two beers. "That will be four dollars," the counter clerk said.

"I'm sorry, did you get the beers?"

"Yes, sir. Two hot dogs and two beers. That's four dollars. Beers are one dollar tonight."

I almost kissed him.

The last time I ran into dollar beer was 1996, the night after I defended my master's thesis at the University of Missouri and proceeded to destroy nearly every brain cell that went into said thesis with dollar pints of Natty Light. I thought dollar beer was like two-dollar gas, a story I would pass onto my grandkids like our grandparents telling us how, back in the Depression, a nickel could buy you a drifter.

Even better, the dollar beer didn't apply to hoppy pisswater like Natty Light. You could pick from any of the standard brands -- Bud, Miller, Micheloeb. Lighter than the kind of suds I reach for normally, but for a buck, they were more than satisfactory. I even double-fisted some Budweiser Select, which was surprisingly decent.

Normally, teams don't like to mix cheap booze and sports, as things like riots tend to break out. I joked with Bob that this place would be ablaze and cars overturned by the sixth inning. Yet there was nary a fist thrown or an SUV flipped. I didn't even hear any swearing when our second baseman made an error that allowed the visitors to tie the game in the ninth. If that happened at a Cubs game these days, even the eight-year olds would be dropping a "c---sucker."

I really think if God had provided dollar beer and a polite sporting experience along with the free bread, the Hebrews would never have left the desert. And at least stuff grows in Iowa.

Game Notes
I managed to eat for the cycle. Here was my box score.

4 for 4
single (regular dog)
triple (jumbo dog)
double (giant pretzel with cheese)
home run (a dish of Blue Bunny ice cream that was the size of a toddler's head)

So much for putting my waistline on notice.


MichaelBains said...

I'm normally a Guiness guy when it comes to beer, but was broke last Saturday so was stoked to find $2 Strohs.

And gas is down to $2.40 right now. Can you "November Elections"?

teh l4m3 said...

If you pour it, they will come...

If you ever get back to Northern California, see if you can find Mt. Shasta Brewing Co. IPA. Mucho delicious. Full Steam ain't so bad, either...

Jordan said...

MichaeBains said:
"And gas is down to $2.40 right now. Can you "November Elections"?"

Can you say supply and demand?

MichaelBains said...

Sure but, as usual, it wouldn't be as relevant as the rules makers love to BS.

Impressions lie. It'll be $4 by Memorial Day.

teh l4m3 said...

Because price fixing and market manipulation are nothing but Red, Red Communist lies!!!

scruffylooking said...

They used to sell $1 PBR at the Motley Cow a few years ago and I loved it about that place.

I went to some Kernels games with some neighbors that live a few houses down from you and all of our kids and it was so fun - especially after a few cheap beers.

Oh, and supply and demand my ass.

Jordan said...

Yeah, the whole capitalism thing really sucks, eh comrade?

teh l4m3 said...

The "whole," Jordan? Or just "completely unfettered"? If we're talk talking the latter, then yes.

Ooh, snap. Forget it. I just used nuance. This is so over your head.

Jordan said...

You like to praise yourself don't you, Teh? Didn't get many hugs from your mom growing up?

You act like I even care what you say. Please understand, I will sleep well tonight whether you think I am a tool or not. I really makes no difference to me.

I like Brando's writing. I will continue to come here for the laughs. You can believe you are on some higher intellectual plane than me. I really don't care.