Thousands of Americans waited for hours in lines—sometimes in cold temperatures—hoping to get their hands on the newest video game console from Microsoft. How did they pass the time?
10) Recited all the lines from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. Twice.
9) Contracted frostbite in fingers, making it impossible to play videogames for rest of lives.
8) Debated whether $699 dollars spent on one Ultimate XBox 360 Bundle would be enough to cure virginity of our entire Halo clan.
7) Held impromptu contest for best Perfect Dark fan fiction sex scene.
6) Formed a protective circle with the two other women standing in line.
5) Stared at wall of Best Buy for 18 hours because eye contact with humans gives us seizures and incontinence.
4) Analyzed which one of these dorks we were going to rob.
3) Discussed whether literature classes would one day study Zork.
2) Drafted waiting-in-line action plan for next year’s PlayStation3 launch.
1) Wondered how our lives ever became this fucking sad.