Special Home Alone bonus footage edition!
10) Having a tea party with the cats.
9) Trying to get rid of crumpet stain on wife's dress that we were wearing during the tea party.
8) Playing enough video games to pull off difficult carpal-tunnel/epileptic-seizure power combo.
7) Accepting invitation from local sorority to be a judge at their dick-sucking contest.
6) Waking up next to an empty bucket of chicken after having the dick-sucking contest dream again.
5) Watching football nonstop until the announcers pause to ask us, “Are you going to wash today?”
4) Sowing some wild oats because we forgot to buy more cereal.
3) Going on a spirit walk after dinner of Cheez Whiz and whip cream.
2) Putting on the Lifetime Network for a few minutes, just to get a little estrogen in the house.
1) Remembering why we are glad we aren’t single anymore.