Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Spreading Santorum

I recently found out that Rick Santorum graduated from the same high school I did. Furthermore, I found out that, like I did, he only attended his senior year, because like my father, his father was a military man who was transferred to a new base before little Ricky's final year of high school. We were also both raised Catholic and we both stubbornly and sometime illogically stick to our core beliefs despite logic dictating that we should seriously revise said beliefs. Ergo:

Santorum: Gay sex is icky because my old vengeful God says so.

Me: The Cubs have hope because my new dreamy GM says so.

I'm reluctant to dig any deeper because further similarities will leave me feeling frothy and unclean.

17 comments:

Jennifer said...

Isn't the new GM a fish hand-me-down??

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Do you wear sweater vests?

Also, if you ever treat your family like this, you're not the man I think you are.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Brando Santorum does have a certain ring to it, though...

Brando said...

Do you wear sweater vests?

No. Have worn, however.

Pancake Z is a major sweater vest wearer, however, so I have been known to associate with their kind.

fish said...

You do have a dreamy new GM. He will always be worshipped as a hero in Boston. He could shit in a Paul Revere silver bowl and everyone would be "That Theo, he's so awesome!"

Brando said...

He could shit in a Paul Revere silver bowl and everyone would be "That Theo, he's so awesome!"

That's how the Cubs acquired their fifth starter for 2012. True story.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

because my new dreamy GM says so

Your car talks to you???
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Don't you want to talk football, Brando?

:)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I only did that one because thndr stole my car joke.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Sure, just pass the buck, zrm.
~

Brando said...

Don't you want to talk football, Brando?

:)


Allow me to answer in dance form.

Brando said...

That was also a great car joke by Thunder.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

If I had a buck I would pass it to you, thunder.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Brando expresses his feelings for the Bears in song form.

fish said...

Don't you want to talk football, Brando?

And I'm the one with the mean sense of humor...

Brando said...

I love that I walked into ZRM's lonk.

Honestly, this year's Bears collapse hurt worse than the Super Bowl loss. That season felt like a good blackjack run that inevitably had to end. This year I actually started to think about upsets at Lambeau in January and other assorted nonsense.

Of course, nothing compares to the Bartman episode. I finally watched the ESPN documentary on him and it was emotionally painful, both to see again how badly he was treated and to see the Cubs piss away that series.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

We were also both raised Catholic and we both stubbornly and sometime illogically stick to our core beliefs despite logic dictating that we should seriously revise said beliefs

Ya know, eating fish on Fridays is a quaint cultural thing, being hatefully obsessed on gay people is an entirely different kettle of fish.