Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Top Ten Wednesdays: Why did we get fired from our hit TV show?

Special 12-step edition!

12) Scene blocking ruined by our constant, visible erections.

11) A winter scene turned nearly fatal when the show inadvertently discovered what we had stashed in the fake snow.

10) Spent the entire third act of our last show doing an a-capella rendition of The Doors’ “The End.”

9) Complained that the show’s creator wasn’t an anti-anti-Semite.

8) Our comedic eye-rolling turned into non-comedic eyes-rolling-back.

7) Paid all the female assistants by shoving twenties in their pants.

6) Other recovering addicts on the show kept trying to get high by cutting us and drinking our blood.

5) At the staff birthday party for the kid who plays the half-man, showed up at Chuck E Cheese with five strippers and a case of Courvoisier.

4) Got to the point where no one knew or cared who our father was.

3) After every punchline, kept shouting “that’s what she said!” and high-fiving the key grip.

2) In a rare moment of sobriety, notified the producers that our hit sitcom was completely devoid of humor.

1) Offended everyone in Hollywood when we said, "We're bigger than Xenu!"

9 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Brando braves the fire-breathing fists!
~

Vonnie said...

Thank you, so much for this list. I am having a HORRIBLE day, and this made me laugh out loud.
You da best.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

A winter scene turned nearly fatal when the show used was we had stashed in the fake snow.

Are you TRYING to bring out the Grammar Zombie?

Spent the entire third act of our last show doing an a-capella rendition of The Doors’ “The End.”

No fair plundering my meeting agenda for jokes.

Brando said...

I haven't done a list in three weeks, I was a little rusty. That typo was so bad it even took me a few moments to figure out what I meant to say.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Brando braves the fire-breathing fists!

Fear that fire-breathing fists would burn down set.

Kathleen said...

13(a) - requested set move to Vancouver because we had literally screwed every hooker in LA.

Substance McGravitas said...

Facial promo shots contained unexpected material.

Brando said...

LOL, those last three are hilarious. Maybe I should hire some cob-loggers.

fish said...

Significant delays as goddesses kept appearing on the set, demanding sacrifices. Lamb supplies were running dangerously low and the key grip was looking nervous.


WV: phalibu

Malibu for dicks.