Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we reaching out to religious voters?

10) Through hole in bathroom stall.

9) Tying story of loaves and fishes to campaign contributions.

8) Going ix nay on the Mormon-ay.

7) Offering to retroactively stone Bill Clinton.

6) Calling for the revival of the Crusades.

5) Revealing “Church” and “State” tattoos on each buttock.

4) Letting Fox News crucify our opponents.

3) Outlining national Manishevitz/Blood-of-Christ exchange pogrom program.

2) Swearing that sanctity of remarriage will not be sullied by gay unions.

1) Promising The Rapture by 2008 or your money back!


Anonymous said...

did you know there are mormons in hyderabad, india?

they have a church too. i'll take a picture next time i'm in the area

Snag said...

11) Buying spray paint and tagging the Constitution with "WWJD."

Michael Bains said...

They've really got to find some way of assuring them that Jesus doesn't consider it Infidelity when it's for Gay sex. Do that and the entire whacko, err, fundamentalist, base of the Republican Party will re-register as Democrats.

Churlita said...

One way to tell if Romney is really trying to be Evangelical instead of Mormon, is to check to see if he's still wearing that funny looking underwear.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

12. I'm no longer threatening the Witnesses with large-bore weaponry when they happen upon my doorstep; now, I just set the dogs on them.

Distributorcap said...

dont you love the giant cross Coulter wears to reach out to religious voters

Anonymous said...

"Buying spray paint and tagging the Constitution with "WWJD.""


Reminds me of the bumper sticker I once saw that read:

WWBD "What Would Bush Did?"

BOSSY said...

13) Verrrrry carefully...

fish said...

14) refraining from speculation about what led to Aldridge's demise.