10) Failure to retrieve TV remote from deep, inaccessible area behind couch.
9) Lack of publisher interest in our Anderson Cooper fan fiction.
8) Inability to open the pickle jar.
7) Carelessness in texting penis photo while wearing tell-tale Packers Crocs and Super Bowl ring.
6) Ongoing unemployment status that’s trapping us in our apartment/bathrobe.
5) Afghanistan.
4) Absence of light at the end of our erectile dysfunction tunnel.
3) 20-pound weight gain while watching new season of Biggest Loser.
2) High likelihood of getting crushed like Chilean miners in a mine collapse during forthcoming election.
1) Writer’s block preventing us from creating a tenth joke for our top 10 list.
5 comments:
Performance anxiety preventing us from completing a snappy comment.
17) being a zombie, and a high-maintenance one at that.
Am I the only person in America who watched exactly zero of the Chilean mine rescue?
I'm happy they got out. But what's really going to change thanks to this coverage?
As far as I can tell, the corporate media loves this story just like they love Christine O'Donnell and Sarah Palin.
And the result of that is more miners in Kentucky and West Virginia will continue to die, the right-wing mine owners in question will continue to get richer, and HEY! what's on American Idol now!
~
14.) Inability to keep our wives and mistresses from finding out about each other before said rescue...But hey, we got some really cool shades now.
super bowl cock ring?
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