10) Failure to retrieve TV remote from deep, inaccessible area behind couch.
9) Lack of publisher interest in our Anderson Cooper fan fiction.
8) Inability to open the pickle jar.
7) Carelessness in texting penis photo while wearing tell-tale Packers Crocs and Super Bowl ring.
6) Ongoing unemployment status that’s trapping us in our apartment/bathrobe.
4) Absence of light at the end of our erectile dysfunction tunnel.
3) 20-pound weight gain while watching new season of Biggest Loser.
2) High likelihood of getting crushed like Chilean miners in a mine collapse during forthcoming election.
1) Writer’s block preventing us from creating a tenth joke for our top 10 list.