10) Holding up bank until they agree to buy our house at the price we paid for it.
9) Cutting back grocery expenses by wearing our deluxe cargo pants to the buffet.
8) Putting all our money into Glenn Beck Teardrop Futures.
7) Selling superfluous offspring on eBay.
6) Developing combustion engine that runs on worthless stock options.
5) Leaving behind dead-end field of investment banking for the dramatically explosive growth field of ice road trucking.
4) Draining all that pesky water out of the Gulf of Mexico so it’s easier to recover our valuable oil.
3) Scanning our last $100 bill and printing our way to financial freedom/free room and board for the next 3-5 years.
2) Following the classic Wall Street advice of selling high after buying blow.
1) Setting off hydrogen bomb in the hopes that it resets our portfolio to 2004.