The Large Hadron Collider finally started smashing together subatomic particles. How are we celebrating this scientific breakthrough?
10) Holding most explosive matter/anti-matter party ever.
9) Grabbing pet spider, crossing fingers, and jumping into particle stream.
8) Mixing protons and electrons with our lab partners, if you know what we mean.
7) Calling stupid brother-in-law who said we would blow up the world and telling him to suck our neutrons.
6) Preparing for guest appearance on The Big Bang Theory, where the cute girl will ask, “Is that a Large Hadron Collider in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”
5) Getting our favorite isotope tattooed on our shoulders.
4) Watching everything turn white before waking up on The Island.
3) Watching the particle collisions under a black light while listening to Dark Side of the Moon.
2) Unclenching our black holes in relief.
1) Hoping that this amazing triumph of technology and physics will inspire people to see how valuable science is and teach children that science is a noble, rewarding career…just kidding, we’re going to use our extra free time to work on our girl robots.