Special health care will kill us all edition!
12) Passing No Child Left Unarmed.
11) Taking out home equity loan to install catapults on our walled compounds.
10) Stocking up on Kook-Aid to sweeten our main water supply: Glenn Beck’s bitter tears.
9) Claiming tinfoil as a medical expense.
8) Steeling ourselves for the possibility that, in order to get through that first winter, we may have to eat Rush Limbaugh.
7) Looking to the Bible for answers, preferably for those involving smiting and/or stoning.
6) Perfecting our combustion engine that runs on rage, hyperbole, and drool.
5) Practicing how we’ll talk to our subjects when we emerge from our parents’ basement to become the new Lord of Smith Street.
4) Heating our caves in the hills of Los Angeles with remaindered copies of Liberal Fascism.
3) Forming our own Teabagger Navy with sailboats powered by mouthbreathing.
2) Polishing our replica Lord of the Rings sword so that Queen Palin can knight us.
1) Breathing into a paper bag until we can think straight about how we’ll survive the coming Obamacalypse.