Special health care will kill us all edition!
12) Passing No Child Left Unarmed.
11) Taking out home equity loan to install catapults on our walled compounds.
10) Stocking up on Kook-Aid to sweeten our main water supply: Glenn Beck’s bitter tears.
9) Claiming tinfoil as a medical expense.
8) Steeling ourselves for the possibility that, in order to get through that first winter, we may have to eat Rush Limbaugh.
7) Looking to the Bible for answers, preferably for those involving smiting and/or stoning.
6) Perfecting our combustion engine that runs on rage, hyperbole, and drool.
5) Practicing how we’ll talk to our subjects when we emerge from our parents’ basement to become the new Lord of Smith Street.
4) Heating our caves in the hills of Los Angeles with remaindered copies of Liberal Fascism.
3) Forming our own Teabagger Navy with sailboats powered by mouthbreathing.
2) Polishing our replica Lord of the Rings sword so that Queen Palin can knight us.
1) Breathing into a paper bag until we can think straight about how we’ll survive the coming Obamacalypse.
36 comments:
It is the end! Donuts are supposed to have holes, dammit!!! It goes against the laws of nature and God for a donut to not have a hole. What's next!?!
jelly filled donuts don't have holes.
DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?
That's why they are the filling of socialism.
Donut holes, meanwhile, are the morning pastry of liberty, freed from the circular prison of their frosted, glazed, and powdered masters.
jelly filled donuts don't have holes.
They do too! You just can't see them! They're internal! Where does the jelly go if there's no space for it? Hmmm?
Also... unfortunately Peeps float in semi-set Jell-O... We're going to have to find a new use for Brando's Jell-O and my Peeps.
After consulting with pastry experts, a hole that does not show, or go all the way through a material, is a recess.
Also, bear claws and fritters count as generic donuts, neither of which have holes.
So, per ZRM, your minds should, indeed, have been blown.
Also... unfortunately Peeps float in semi-set Jell-O.
this is disturbing behavior.
After consulting with pastry experts, a hole that does not show, or go all the way through a material, is a recess.
I can smell an explaining voice a mile away...
However, I concur... ZRM does, indeed, blow.
whoah. That's pretty aggro.
So, per ZRM, your minds should, indeed, have been blown.
Do blown minds comprise the filling of zombie donuts?
whoah. That's pretty aggro.
Sorry... I just ingested Peeps in Jell-O for the sake of science. I also got an earful of teh explaining voice from the talking fish.
donut peeps?
I am surprised that Wisconsin has not led the way in developing deep-fried peeps. Perhaps it is because Easter comes at a time when we can't have an outdoor beer drinking festival.
I just ingested Peeps in Jell-O for the sake of science. I also got an earful of teh explaining voice from the talking fish.
apparently, Jell-o peeps are hallucinogenic. I hope the EndOfTheWorldCare kicks in soon.
I am surprised that Wisconsin has not led the way in developing deep-fried peeps. Perhaps it is because Easter comes at a time when we can't have an outdoor beer drinking festival.
Maybe they could work it in with a fish boil, or the smelt run.
The Annual Peep Run!!!
If you do NOT start having this party, Jennifer, I will hate you forever.
If you do NOT start having this party, Jennifer, I will hate you forever.
Will it involve Jell-O??
And, why hasn't Kathleen shared her drunken love over here??
The Annual Peep Run!!!
Come to think of it, at least I wouldn't mind biting the head off of a peep.
jelly filled donuts don't have holes.
Tim Hortons' Timbits do. DONUT HOLES FILLED WITH JELLY. THIS IS THE SEVENTH DIMENSION
Word verification, no lie, is "ingest."
Perhaps it is because Easter comes at a time when we can't have an outdoor beer drinking festival.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And, why hasn't Kathleen shared her drunken love over here??
do you know how hard it is to type "curcle jerk at the square dance" corrently into google?!!!!!
omg
do you know how hard it is to type "curcle jerk at the square dance" corrently into google?!!!!!
If you listen very closely, you can hear a zombie's head exploding in America's heartland.
Amazingly enough, my search results show that people clearly looking for porn often spell their search terms correctly, yet Kathleen cannot.
If you listen very closely, you can hear a zombie's head exploding in America's heartland.
From HERE?
boom.
do you know how hard it is to type "curcle jerk at the square dance" corrently into google?!!!!!
If this doesn't make it into words of wisdom, there is no justice in the world.
Check the banner. I'll keep that up for a while.
I just got done reading all the comments and I can't remember what the Circle Jerker's post was about...Peeps? Jello? Something getting blown?
Check the banner.
Awesome.
the Circle Jerker's post was about...Peeps? Jello?
An S.O. of awhile back, nailed Peeps to her door every Easter season. ( The origin of which, was lost in a jello-shot haze .) Sort of like Martin Luther, but cuter.
I am laughing so hard
I very nearly died from Kathleen's posting(s) yesterday.
That would be a neat trick considering you're already dead.
An S.O. of awhile back, nailed Peeps to her door every Easter season. ( The origin of which, was lost in a jello-shot haze .) Sort of like Martin Luther, but cuter.
That is awesome. I also like the idea of liquefying Pixie Stick powder and spreading it over the doorway.
An S.O. of awhile back, nailed Peeps to her door every Easter season... sort of like Martin Luther
I hope she nailed 95.
I very nearly died from Kathleen's posting(s) yesterday.
For poster-hilarity.
~
I hope she nailed 95.
Nope . Just me.
Oh......95 peeps. :)
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