Special extended defects edition!
15) New advanced braking computer is tired of us taking its braking for granted.
14) Love Bugs tested positive for herpes.
13) Air bags mistakenly replaced with guillotines.
12) Objects in side mirrors may be more invisible than they appear.
11) White finish attracts gunfire and noxious one-liners.
10) “Steering dyslexia.”
9) Hybrid engine converts carbon emissions to PCP.
8) Dangerous levels of camp.
7) Stepping on gas pedal causes radio to blast “I Can’t Drive 55.”
6) Severely depressed GPS always giving directions to the nearest cliff.
5) Mobile, life-sized hood ornament deemed “distracting.”
4) Normally good, mild-mannered cars become unpredictable monsters when fueled after midnight.
3) Pre-loaded with babies on board.
2) Driver’s-side recliner induces dangerous levels of napping.
1) Fails to meet government standards for m.p.g.p. (mortality per gross profits).