Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we going to balance the state budget?

10) Require retiring government workers to earn their pensions by surviving The Running Man challenge (California only).

9) Allow WIC to be only good for Cheez-Whiz, Funyuns, and baby formula.

8) Replace road maintenance crews with a couple of Roombas.

7) Reduce education expenses by replacing all text books with The Bible (Kansas only).

6) Charge $10 per throw for new Rod Blagojevich dunking tank (Illinois only).

5) Enact new "boner tax" (monitor required).

4) Shut down all government functions during July for new "State of Nature" month.

3) Double the ammunition tax during "State of Nature" month.

2) Offer lottery winners new lump meth payment in lieu of cash.

1) Let governor take unpaid leave of absence so we can get stimulus money while he's gone.

10 comments:

Mendacious D said...

11) Export all the sick to Canada and Mexico to save on Medicare

Jennifer said...

The money gained from #6 will only go to buy yet another Senate seat and not for something important such as improving the CTA... I'm thinking we'll have the only Flinstone El pretty soon. Be sure to wear your rubber shoes! That 3rd rail is a doozey!

Jennifer said...

ZRM- that should have been Flintstone...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17) A per-typo tax of $.02 on the intertrons.

mwah-ah-ah-ah!!

Jennifer said...

#*!@*#&@!!!!

Churlita said...

"State of nature" Sounds much more civilized than saying anarchy.

Jennifer said...

"State of nature" Sounds much more civilized than saying anarchy.

Just as "hiking the Appalachian Trail" sounds much more civilized than "doing illegal sex acts in Argentina"...

Kathleen said...

Awesome. Chris and I make 'Running Man' jokes all the time.

Snag said...

11) Give up and let our state become a cold Mississippi.

Don't get me started.

Brando said...

The Running Man was on the other day. It's really hard to believe California elected that.