Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why are we refusing to bail out the auto industry?

Special extra cargo space for the cash edition!

12) Failure to make cup holders large enough for Super Big Gulp.

11) Union’s insistence on doughnuts-for-life program.

10) Republican Congressmen could give a fuck about your problems.

9) This is not your father's auto industry lobby.

8) Need to focus on promoting the Chinese auto industry so China can keep lending us money to bail out our auto industry.

7) Auto side won't negotiate around the clock without getting time-and-a-half.

6) Industry leaders were scheduled to meet with Congress, but their cars broke down on the way.

5) Fuel prices finally igniting American interest in the Yugo.

4) Refuse to follow Japanese auto manufactures’ example and offer a happy ending after government bailout.

3) Still seeking compensation for atrocities inflicted through John Mellencamp abuse.

2) $25 billion only fills up an eighth of the industry’s tank.

1) Don't want to throw more money into a lemon.

11 comments:

Jennifer said...

I think the term "auto" proves they should be self-sufficient...

Auto: A combining form, with the meaning of self, one's self, one's own, itself, its own.

In other words, bail your OWN SELF out...

Now, had they been the pluribusmobile industry, we might have helped, but right now, I think they're on their own...

Bill Stankus said...

I say GM should immediately re-make 1956 Chevys, Cads and Buicks. Problem solved.

Mendacious D said...

13) Ease NTSB restrictions on the Pinto redesign.

rotten mcdonald said...

17) the slow fackin leak in my right front tire.

fish said...

24) Cruise control does not seem to make Tom Cruise any less crazy.

Noelle said...

Because the warranty JUST ran out.

almostinfamous said...

30) Because where the hell are flying cars? it's almost 2010 already!!!

Churlita said...

Because they got tired of hearing the same Bob Seger song over and over while watching football on Sundays.

Brando said...

Nice, you guys had me laughing with these.

rotten mcdonald said...

Easy, aif. we were supposed to have jet-packs too.

Where is the delivery timeline for the fackin jet-packs?

Snag said...

Flying cars? Where the hell is Jane Jetson?