10) Melvin the Underemployed Man Whore.
9) Vito the Completely Legitimate Businessman.
8) Russell the Beneficiary of Affirmative Action Who Now Hates Affirmative Action.
7) Mary the Fully-Armed, Pro-Life Soccer Mom.
6) Akbar the Cabbie Who Shares the Same Name as Akbar the Terrorist.
5) Lisa the Accidental Internet Porn Star Thanks to Her Asshole Ex-Boyfriend.
4) Cookie the Anti-Immigration Rodeo Clown.
3) Yvette the Eavesdropping National Security Agency Operator.
2) Frankie the Guy Who Can Eat His Weight in Ham and Now Needs Health Insurance.
1) Joe the Fictional Political Talking Point.