Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Top Ten Wednesdays: How are we celebrating our anniversaries?

Special 14-years-of-making-other-people-sick-with-our-happiness edition!

14) Giving her the gift that keeps on giving: gifts that take batteries.

13) Renewing vows while father-in-law points ceremonial shotgun at us.

12) Holding hands while mixing meth in the tub.

11) Hiding in the bushes outside home of spouse’s new spouse.

10) Devising conspiracy theories to make wife feel better about blowing seemingly insurmountable lead to an inexperienced black guy with a Muslim name.

9) Telling Barack yes, yes, oh God yes we can!

8) Handing the kids $50 and telling them to not come back for at least 15 minutes.

7) Selling our reading glasses for a hairbrush and selling our hair for The Collected Stories of O Henry.

6) Giving Rodrigo the day off so husband can “clean the pool.”

5) Replying, “It’s today? Oh, fack me!” before spending night on the couch.

4) Robbing a bank together just like old times.

3) Filling out application for Wife Swap.

2) Having a beautiful candlelight dinner together on Second Life.

1) Getting ready to chuck all these years of togetherness to have a creature who will say “Ewww” when we kiss on our future anniversaries.

12 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

umm, #14- the gift that KEEPS on giving uses a cord; it's the battery powered ones that stop. Or so I hear.

and #1- also, the creature will walk into the bedroom during that 15 minute thing, and be grossed out for at least a week, unable to even look either of you in the eye.

Or so I hear.

Brando said...

Billy, that just supports the electrical outlet patriarchy.

fish said...

telling them to not come back for at least 15 minutes

Okay, now you are just bragging...

Brando said...

I didn't say I needed 15 minutes. Please see #14 for clarification.

Noelle said...

Happy frakking anniversary!

billy pilgrim said...

I believe Noelle meant Happy Facking Anniversary....

so say we all.

Sally said...

I hate myself for loving you.

Dood. Get over to BP's site and get into the lyrics contest.

Jennifer said...

Belated happy!!!

Churlita said...

Belated happy as well. What? No mention of how you're going to use those handcuffs on your anniversary?

Mendacious D said...

Why just for the anniversary?

Congratulations, you two!

Kathleen said...

Hope it was a great anniversary!!

congrats!

Distributorcap said...

14!
is that like gold or silver or paper

happy one