Monday, May 19, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we spending our stimulus checks?

Special expanded inflation edition!

11) Half a tank of gas.

10) Twelve hundred trips to the Dollar Store.

9) Investing in Uncle Ben’s hedge fund.

8) $29.99 on a shovel, $1169.01 in a hole in the ground.

7) Making double the minimum monthly payment.

6) Getting shirts for the kids that say, “My parents got a $300 credit because of me and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

5) Falling into the Bagdad Gap after falling out from Bagdad patrol.

4) Buying an engagement ring so we’ll get twice as much money during the next panic.

3) Putting it on In Default in the fifth race.

2) Bidding on genuine Road Warrior costume so we’ll look authentic when civilization collapses.

1) Stimulants.

20 comments:

Churlita said...

Mmmmm. Stimulants.

Noelle said...

My heating oil bill was $610 over budget this year. I think I'll write the government to request $10 more, please.

Jennifer said...

I'd laugh at the gas one if I hadn't just spent SEVENTY DOLLARS filling up the tank!

billy pilgrim said...

17) two words: Butt. Plugs.


($600 worth of butt plugs is truly an awe-inspiring sight).

billy pilgrim said...

68a) gifting Pinko Punko with EVERY Bad Religion album on iTunes.

billy pilgrim said...

1) 12 minutes of video games with Kristin of the Emerald Club

Sally said...

BP, at least you get $600. I am not getting the full rebate -- I made too much.

Thanks, Bush. I thought us rich peeps were sticking together. (And by rich, anyone who makes over $30K a year, without kids, and owns a home.)

billy pilgrim said...

It's not really a rebate. It's and advance rebate against your 2008 payments; if you don't make enough money to pay $600 in taxes, you'll end up owing more.....

wheee. anything these guys do is desigend toscrew somebody over somehow, isn't it?

billy pilgrim said...

who the hell is sally, and why does the IRS hate her?

Mendacious D said...

Bourbon. Lots and lots of bourbon.

billy pilgrim said...

men D shows up and drops an all-purpose comment.

Mendacious D said...

It's what's for dinner!

Snag said...

Me, I'm getting a home bourbon distillery.

Von said...

Still haven't gotten mine. I like to refer to it as my "government check" - sounds so much drrrtier.

Kathleen said...

1a) hospital bills.

I guess that's not very funny.

Jennifer said...

Is that a stimulus package in my mailbox or is it just happy to see me??

We got a letter saying it should be here by now, but if it's not... wait about 6 weeks and then call. That sounded so bogus. The gov, the ultimate tease.

fish said...

11-3000) Diapers, formula, strollers, baby bottles, car seats, day care, Dr. visits, crib, pacifiers, stuffed animals, baby wipes, anti-nausea medication (see diaper, changing of), musical fish (not me), baby blankets, rectal thermometers (for the baby BP!).

Oh yeah and what MenD said.

Brando said...

Good stuff as usual. I love the additions.

I'm on the road for work this week and probably won't get to blog until the weekend.

Manager Mom said...

Um... I'll spend my money by... Oh wait! I don't get a check. I just get a nice "Screw You" from the government.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Everyone hates Sally, BP.

Hate is an awful thing. Morrissey supposedly cures that.