10) Use of performance enhancers at the International Waterboarding Championships.
9) Government officials taking two-year lunches.
8) Siphoning $1,000,000 of rebuilding money to spend one night with Demi Moore.
7) Coordinated text message strikes on American Idol voting.
6) Blackwater’s excessive enforcement of the “no sandals” policy at Bagdad night clubs.
5) Bringing pre-whacked Sunnis to Iraqi Whacking Day.
4) The Iraqi Secretary of State and Condoleezza Rice getting into an debilitating shoe-off.
3) Halliburton’s harvesting of virgin blood for Vice President Cheney.
2) Iraq keeps drunk-dialing Iran for hot Shi'ite action.
1) Um, it would just be easier to list what we’re not covering up.