Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: What corruption are we covering up in Iraq?

10) Use of performance enhancers at the International Waterboarding Championships.

9) Government officials taking two-year lunches.

8) Siphoning $1,000,000 of rebuilding money to spend one night with Demi Moore.

7) Coordinated text message strikes on American Idol voting.

6) Blackwater’s excessive enforcement of the “no sandals” policy at Bagdad night clubs.

5) Bringing pre-whacked Sunnis to Iraqi Whacking Day.

4) The Iraqi Secretary of State and Condoleezza Rice getting into an debilitating shoe-off.

3) Halliburton’s harvesting of virgin blood for Vice President Cheney.

2) Iraq keeps drunk-dialing Iran for hot Shi'ite action.

1) Um, it would just be easier to list what we’re not covering up.


Manager Mom said...

This is frigging hilarious. Thanks for showing us the softer side of "Mission Accomplished."

Shannon Erin said...

Halliburton’s harvesting of virgin blood for Vice President Cheney.

This earned you a spot in my blogroll. For realz.

Matt said...

Why are we covering up the million were paying for a night with Demi Moore. In all fairness, I think this is a fair price.

Demi Moore? I would. I'm just sayin'.


billy pilgrim said...

Come on now. I always though Cheney was running on puppy blood. Kitten blood in a pinch.

And if necessary, just ripping the skin off of bunnies with his fingernails.

17) Using the skin of virgins stomped to death by their fathers to make stiletto boots for Condi.

Kathleen said...

c) illegal download of Kurupt's albums.

Churlita said...

I can't think of anything to say that will top Billy Pilgrim's comment, so I'm slinking off now to feel unworthy.

billy pilgrim said...

don't worry churlita, I will say something profoundly stupid soon enough.


fish said...

13) Disney Baghdad's Halliburton subcontractors, making money off of cheap mouseear knockoffs.