Monday, May 12, 2008

Questions we already know the answers to, Pt. XXVI

From a birthing video we watched in our baby class on Saturday:

"Do you want to see the placenta?"

18 comments:

Bill Stankus said...

Ah, watch the silly movie then enjoy the first 12 years - 'cause after that you'll realize you're in for a never ending roller coaster ride of unimaginable extremes.

Snag said...

Early in SNL's history, until the censors vetoed it, Laraine Newman and Gilda Radner were supposed to play two pregnant women who run into each other at their college reunion.

Laraine: "By the way, are you planning to eat the placenta?"

Gilda: "You're kidding! You mean the afterbirth?"

Laraine: "That's right. Many mammals eat their own placenta. It's nutritious, it's 100 percent natural, and now that you're going to have a family, you've got to watch your food budget more than ever. And there's no cheaper meat than placenta."

Gilda: But is there enough placenta to make a complete meal for my husband and myself?

Laraine: Not if your husband has a hearty appetite like mine. And that's why you need Placenta Helper.

Gilda: Placenta Helper?

Laraine: That's right. Placenta Helper lets you stretch your placenta into a tasty casserole. [Holds up a box of Placenta Helper.] Like Placenta Romanoff--a zesty blend of cheeses makes for the zingy sauce that Russian czars commanded at palace feasts. Or Placenta Oriental. An exotic mixture of oriental vegetables and exotic herbs and spices creates an exotic meal. Look, you can have placenta only once every nine months. Why not make a rare occasion, a rare occasion?

[CUT TO: Gilda's kitchen. John Belushi, as her husband, has just finished his placenta casserole.]

John: Ummm. That was great. Let's have Placenta Helper every night.

Gilda: Oh, honey!

[THEY LAUGH AT HIS STUPID MISTAKE.]

Brando said...

Snag, that is awesome. I had a similar gross thought. When I heard the question on the video, I thought, "Sure, got any syrup?" Which then made me think of International House of Placenta.

billy pilgrim said...

eww..

placenta with SYRUP?

Don't you realize placenta is served with crackers?

Kathleen said...

wow.

I don't know where I thought this comment thread was going to go, but it sure wasn't where it ended up.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

I know, Kathleen! I was sure there would be discussion of polenta recipes.

Brando said...

Believe me, I am not proud of that. But sometimes the stuff that pops into my head is like the curse in Thinner. I have to serve it up in a pie in order to get rid of it.

billy pilgrim said...

OK, but only because you guys are kind of asking for it:

warning: link unsafe for everybody but Snag.


....look, I told you it wasn't safe.

Snag said...

warning: link unsafe for everybody but Snag.

Thanks guys. I'll send you a postcard from Gitmo.

fish said...

Don't worry Brando, it is way more horrifying in person.

Churlita said...

Hippies take the placenta and use it as fertilizer and plant a tree after the baby's born.

My ex-husband said he thought it looked like a brick of weed. So,maybe it's all about how you look at it...And that means some people see it as being good with syrup.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Whatever you do, please don't preserve the placenta in a jar of formaldehyde!!!

I think I saw a segment on HBO's Shock Video about the preparation and consumption of placenta. When that sucker was all grilled up it looked a little like skirt steak, which I love. Or maybe liver, which I love. Aw fuck it, it looked absolutely delectable. There, I'm a bad person. Judge as you must.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Dude. Couldn't you have just not watched the video. Now I am going to have nightmares from reading about this. The placenta will attack me in my sleep!!

Brando said...

The video didn't bother me very much. I'm mean sure, it's not exactly must-see TV, but the whole Miracle of Life aspect overcomes a lot of the ickyness. But I cannot understand why someone would want an up close examination of the placenta.

UC, thank you for making me a vegetarian.

Jennifer said...

I believe if you're having a boy, you garnish the placenta with a foreskin before digging in.

billy pilgrim said...

ouch, filthbot.

TLB said...

People, all I can say is that I'm so glad I read these comments this morning while I was eating breakfast. If I didn't want to see the placenta before, I'm really, really not looking at it now.

fish said...

ouch, filthbot.

Someone must have been prepping BP's garnish.