Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: How do we know we're not in a recession?

10) eBay bidding has been brisk on our kidneys.

9) Government continues to give us free airfare and ammo to go abroad.

8) Only had to lease children to science.

7) After cutting him open, Alan Greenspan’s intestines said no recession.

6) Managed to keep home when the mortgage company couldn’t pay for our foreclosure.

5) Future is so bright, we told Microsoft to search for blow it out your USB port.

4) If it was a recession, we'd be making less than we did in 2001, not the same amount, silly.

3) Seeing robust growth in the fry, shake, and waistline sectors.

2) It ain’t a recession until The Decider decides it’s a recession.

1) Recessions are for the poor, old chap.

12 comments:

Trevor Jackson said...

11) Can still afford to eat organic dog food instead of that Purina horsemeat crap.

Noelle said...

Shopping at Target still makes me feel so, so good when I feel so, so bad.

PS - I think you might appreciate that I got my $600 rebate on the same day I had to pay $550 for car insurance. I'm going to take that extra $50 and... fill up my car with gas! Thanks, government.

Jennifer said...

Only selling my plasma, not blood.

Eliot Spitzer said...

Stopped going to the Emperor's Club, settling for the lip service at the Chancellor's Club.

Kathleen said...

13) Recessions only happen when Democrats are in charge.

Jennifer said...

Ok... it dawned on me in the middle of the night that Eliot's answer was in response to us being in a recession. I hate it when poor comments come back to haunt me in the wee hours!

Mendacious D said...

14) Getting the GOA to rename it an "economic realignment"

Churlita said...

15) Will only use the R word after we see if Hillary or Obama win the election, and then we'll use it quite liberally.

fish said...

16) No longer have to pay those odious condo fees in my new shanty town.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

America is fighting to get other nations kicked out of the G-8.

Snag said...

11) Still have guns, even if we gave up butter.

Brando said...

Nice one, Snag. I love a good guns n butter joke.

I should be back later today with the Vegas post. The first draft was 4700 words, which is just wrong. I'm going to edit it down from morbidly verbose to obscenely verbose.