10) Took internship in Republican Congressman's office.
9) Meant to only do anal but never learned anatomy in home school.
8) Received an urgent revelation from a different kind of burning bush.
7) See, this one time, at band camp….
6) Thought it would cause the hair to fall from our palms.
5) Wanted to get out of going to another creepy purity ball with Dad.
4) Priest promised it wouldn't count if we went to confession right after.
3) Turned 40.
2) Played Twister at the Purity Party.
1) Touched by an angel, or some guy claiming to be St. Michael.
18 comments:
Didn't want to spoil the child so stopped sparing the rod.
That's the kind of double-entendre this blog thrives on, Jennifer.
Father said it was either THAT or 101 Hail Marys.
C'mon now... That's a no-brainer.
I couldn't ignore the tapping on the stall next to mine.
Dating a locksmith solved that little chastity belt "issue".
For fish.
And I don't mean why I broke my abstinence pledge.
If that's all it takes to go to hell, then heaven's not for me anyway.
Churlita, there's a funny YouTube of Larry Craig and "Knock Three Times" waiting to be done.
I also know that the men's room thing has been played out, yet the idea of firebreathing Republicans trolling for handjobs hasn't lost it's humor payload for me.
If that's all it takes to go to hell, then heaven's not for me anyway.
Good point, Brando. I just hate the word... pu... oh, you know.
However, I'd rather be in hell with Brando, than in a heaven with... Dubya.
Republicans trolling for handjobs hasn't lost it's humor payload for me.
Need a tissue?
I've spent about five minutes trying to come up with a funny commandment comment, but I'm just going to quit now because Jennifer said it all. See you in hell!
13. Oral sex actually got boring.
14) Rudolph told me we were trapped on the Island of Misfit Toys forever!
15) Corrupted by Jennifer
Ran out of batteries...
Awesome AIF...
Lost manicure set?
UC- as if...
fish- bad fish..
Awesome, awesome additions. aif, I wish I had thought of that one in particular.
I'm still suffering a concussion from Jennifer dropping a p-bomb. Sometimes comedy requires huge sacrifices.
You're my Justin Timberlake, Brando...
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