Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why did we break our abstinence pledges?

10) Took internship in Republican Congressman's office.

9) Meant to only do anal but never learned anatomy in home school.

8) Received an urgent revelation from a different kind of burning bush.

7) See, this one time, at band camp….

6) Thought it would cause the hair to fall from our palms.

5) Wanted to get out of going to another creepy purity ball with Dad.

4) Priest promised it wouldn't count if we went to confession right after.

3) Turned 40.

2) Played Twister at the Purity Party.

1) Touched by an angel, or some guy claiming to be St. Michael.

19 comments:

Jennifer said...

Didn't want to spoil the child so stopped sparing the rod.

Brando said...

That's the kind of double-entendre this blog thrives on, Jennifer.

MichaelBains said...

Father said it was either THAT or 101 Hail Marys.

C'mon now... That's a no-brainer.

Churlita said...

I couldn't ignore the tapping on the stall next to mine.

fish said...

Dating a locksmith solved that little chastity belt "issue".

Jennifer said...

For fish.

And I don't mean why I broke my abstinence pledge.

Jennifer said...

I'm going to hell for this...

...tired of coveting my neighbor’s ass… was really coveting my neighbor’s pussy.

Ok, you'll never hear from me again.

Brando said...

If that's all it takes to go to hell, then heaven's not for me anyway.

Churlita, there's a funny YouTube of Larry Craig and "Knock Three Times" waiting to be done.

I also know that the men's room thing has been played out, yet the idea of firebreathing Republicans trolling for handjobs hasn't lost it's humor payload for me.

Jennifer said...

If that's all it takes to go to hell, then heaven's not for me anyway.

Good point, Brando. I just hate the word... pu... oh, you know.

However, I'd rather be in hell with Brando, than in a heaven with... Dubya.

fish said...

Republicans trolling for handjobs hasn't lost it's humor payload for me.

Need a tissue?

Noelle said...

I've spent about five minutes trying to come up with a funny commandment comment, but I'm just going to quit now because Jennifer said it all. See you in hell!

Chuckles said...

13. Oral sex actually got boring.

Kathleen said...

14) Rudolph told me we were trapped on the Island of Misfit Toys forever!

The Uncanny Canadian said...

15) Corrupted by Jennifer

almostinfamous said...

Ran out of batteries...

fish said...

Awesome AIF...

Lost manicure set?

Jennifer said...

UC- as if...

fish- bad fish..

Brando said...

Awesome, awesome additions. aif, I wish I had thought of that one in particular.

I'm still suffering a concussion from Jennifer dropping a p-bomb. Sometimes comedy requires huge sacrifices.

Jennifer said...

You're my Justin Timberlake, Brando...